February's Intro

It's half of the shortest chosen disciple

When every human is a vegetarian

Black is remembered not as neutral but color

And around the birth dates of two Oyonmis

It's fair to lay my gift this way

Knowing it's one of the annual recurring ones

Contrary to a common gift; it's a perfect one

One that Literature has made easy.

Business Talk (Freestyling)

I checked my brain box and saw an avalanche of messages summed up to knowing the reasons I haven't written anything this year. Well, other than school and work, I'm into somethin' else... somethin' good, though.

I travelled to a state called Hallucination and brought you this:

*The Beginnin'*

Do me a favor. Listen/read when/while I talk/write because I'm the Big Cheese, and you're a mere bean counter.

Back to the problem on ground. Do you think I should bail out the banks?

*Flashback*

The banks refused to bankroll me when I needed help to establish my small business. Like the banks, other financial companies looked me with dismay when I asked them to float me a loan.

Situation immediately turned around after I got a break, got off the ground, and gained ground when hired by an undisclosed company. I am more or less like a sleeping partner. That being written, I can proudly say I took my time to hang out my shingle as a "Bizman". My onus is easy. All I need do is put things down in black and white. Can you believe that? It feels good to say I am in the black just like that.

My company, by a long shot compared to others, has developed immensely. It was easy staying on top. Unlike many businesses, I took a calculated risk when I put my ideas online. Come to think of it, do you know any successful business owner whom hadn't taken a risk before? I guess not.

Well, I'll fill the bill for what you need to be a successful business owner. First, you have to cut corner and by so doing, your losses will be cut. Second, make sure you put your nose to the grindstone and work by the book. Finally, pay tithes and offerings, then taxes. It may seem awkward but it's among the many principles to making a go of it. Absent greed and think beyond.

Follow my motion and in the long run you would be making money hand over fist.

*The End*

My Break, My Nosy Friend, and My Close Friend

S(he): "How's school?"
Me: "Pretty kewl, thanx."
S(he): "'r U sure, or U just don't wanna tell me? I kinda know what's up."
Me: "Huh?"
S(he): "U ain't gotta tell me, I know already."
Me: "Know what?"
S(he): "Never mind"
Me: "Aight, then. Later"
S(he): "Hey T, have U read the book?"
Me: "No, I haven't."
S(he): "U really should cuz it's the bomb!"
Me: "Ok, but I really have to go now"
S(he): "Yeah, run b'4 d food gets cold. While U're doing that, I'll be studying"

     I really can't say it’s my fault fetching up in (h)is/er presence. It happened that S(he) chanced to be passing by when I came out of my apartment. So, here I go, randomly answering (h)is/er questions/concerns……..

     Has S(he) forgotten that well accredited schools are cow colleges? What's the need if all S(he)'s being or was taught envelops everything but agriculture? Quite insane!

     I'm not a bookworm nor a professor, so S(he) doesn't expect me to have read (h)is/er book nor consider my work to be a "publish or perish" kind.

     Since (S)he likes being nosy, I suggest (S)he does me a favor and that's to count noses and tell me how many students like having their noses in a book. I bet you right after this, (S)he'll agree with me that there's plenty of truth in the cliche that some of the most respected people in the world today are Drop Outs.

But don't get me wrongly...

I understand life in all colors. I'm very aware of the realities of everyday life and not one who lives in an ivory tower. I know what struggle means as well as sacrifice. These two are like one's success neighbors but many a time one chooses to put one or both aside. We term it "short cut". I call it "a no-go-area". As at now, because of the latter, I'm twice into the former. Thus I'm learning from the University of Life.

The crux of the matter is a very close friend of mine. It will never leave me. I think it wants to make sure I'm done with the entire goings. You know the saying, "when the going gets tough, the tough (me) gets going". I'm almost through with that, though. It’s funny how it reminded me some couple of days ago that it's still polishing my chair and desk. How long will it take it to do that? I guess it just wants to make them the shiniest. Another interesting issue is the rumour I hear of wanting to surprise me by admitting me to one of its ivy league. Gosh! That would be nice but I won't find time to play soccer since I'll be hitting the books. Does that mean I won't be a player of a soccer club or league? I'll sought it out later with it.

I'm not surprised. I've been to school, now it is left for it to come to me. That being written, I know it's like teaching my grandmother to suck eggs. I agree it knows more than I do; nevertheless, it knows what I'm about: an eager beaver who's always known for his brilliancy; teachers' pet; etc... but as jotted earlier... until it finally comes to me, I'll continually be penned  up to the school of hard knocks.

Literature and the Human Body

Many people unintentionally bastardize Literature by using phrases which have to do with the Human Body. You be the judge if I'm to blame. Who knows? I might be indebted to little or complete knowledge when RESPECT is echoed.

It all started this afternoon on my way back from work. As usual, I was on the phone with a friend when a lady in her early 30s approached me and asked for a direction. I answered. Taking Map as my middle name, I knew I had assisted in that area and thought that was all. She thanked me and added, "Wow! What a sonorous voice you have". "Thanx", I said. I mean, it's a compliment, right? To balance compliments, I said, "You yourself have a psychedelic voice", even though it's untrue. This expression, according to her, is one I shouldn't have said. When I questioned to know the reason I shouldn't have, she emphatically voiced it was wrong, stating I should have said she has a sonorous voice as well. Shame suddenly gripped me after hearing this. Not a shame on my side, but a deep sense of shame which I felt on her behalf. I apologized; you know me, same cool guy, and left. Seconds passed and my friend and I couldn't stop investing our time in laughing about the whole drama that had just taken place when I fell a victim of another circumstance.

This time it was a lady in her mid 20s. And a little about me? I like to make a clean breast of something and so I told my friend of how beautiful the lady is, describing her as one who is broad in the beam. Shockingly, she heard, fiercely looked at me and asked,"who are you calling fat?" Known to both of us, the question is rhetorical. And she went off (both in words and movement). I know it means fat but not in that sense. I mean, not that she was huffing and puffing when I said it, but I meant it in a polite way, not to her but to my friend. How she heard is what still gobsmacks me.

Even if such an expression only meant being fat in the hips, so?

Why must one jump on another person’s throat when told that one is fat? If it’s the truth, live by it! I, personally, get mad when people shove the idea of linking fatness to healthiness down my throat. "Throat"? Must I use this word? Well, you have every right to think it is a bone of contention between you and me. This is because I had to bust a gut to get this post published. No doubt, after it has been creatively written, then I can be proud to say I did it by the sweat of my brow.

Reading and understanding a piece of work like this sometimes can be brain puzzling. Thus it doesn't mean I can't stomach readers who only see and skip for the fun of it. I'm one of many writers who tend to feed you with info like this making me seem as if I'm carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. I really don't know if I should be doing this for the writers whose pens have been dropped or if I should be contemplating my navel. No, I'm not selfish. Despite the fact that doing this will land on my lap, I'm willing to go the extra mile. To some, it's unbelievable that I gird up my loins by putting different ideas together and begin to work on my posts before publication. I am, nonetheless, never a bundle of nerves.

Literature may seem uncalled for, but we all know it beautifies situations in good times like at the birth of a child, but most importantly in bad times - death. It mellows us out, powdering euphemism to soothe it (death) thereby avoiding shocking.

Saving Nigeria's 'Witch' Children

Some people have stories to tell which would make fifty percent sense to fifty percent readers in about fifty seconds. And many of us believe we have people born on the 32nd of any registered month in our head. Some even guessed the 13th month of the year.

Yeah, I know you're lost - The above is totally verged on the absurd.

But that's how some Nigerians think about 'witch' children.

However, you can still make a difference in the lives of these children.

Relocation: Same Area; Different Location

Yes, I’ve moved. I have created job opportunities, too. Just call me a Star!

Before now, I used to live in a fish bowl. My information was always out there, you know, my principles, my dos and don’ts, etc. Kind-heartedly, I relocated and so created job opportunities.

People have gone on a fishing expedition. Well, they are yet to find out the reason(s) to many aspects of me. I have a rare personality which as a result has lulled people into fallacious judgment. It’s a merit because it has opened up a can of worms amongst them, which makes their jobs interesting.

Interestingly, they are paparazzi, and like I typed out earlier, just call me a Star!

Life's Lesson on Success

I have been around to survey people's successes. It occured to me that some view it as an abstract that turns physical which comes in a flash. To some, they had to strive for it. Presently, the latter is where I stand. Better still, I think I’m far from that. I'm still striving for it at the same time waiting for it to come in a flash. In essence, while you await for success, make sure you have your hands on deck.

Life's Witnesses (Slightly Inapt)

Repercussions welcome and salute the wicked
cries for help, but no ear to hear
disgraced kith and kin consumed by stereotypes

which project the lives of a particular people
Only main meals available, yet considered rich
an escaped gesture of being called wealthy
Ironically healthy but heavy – too much cholesterol
Catchy commercials caressing catastrophes
like Obesity- Oh, my brain’s break
How about premature?
Well,
Incubators seem friendly, after all we invented it
Doctors injecting them, poor infants
All that seems right is mirror-wise
Very true yet very false.